I know your eyes in the morning sun
I feel you touch me in the pouring rain
And the moment that you wander far from me
I wanna feel you in my arms again

And you come to me on a summer breeze
Keep me warm in your love and then softly leave
And it's me you need to show

How deep is your love?
I really need to learn
cause were living in a world of fools
Breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

I believe in you
You know the door to my very soul
You're the light in my deepest darkest hour
You're my saviour when I fall
And you may not think
I care for you
When you know down inside
That I really do
And it's me you need to show

How deep is your love?
I really need to learn
cause were living in a world of fools
Breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

The Bird & The Bee - How Deep Is Your Love

so the 8am class thing was fun for the first week but now i'm kind of over it. it's sooooo cold in the morning when i have to walk to school but by the time i get there i'm all sweaty. or if i don't wear a coat i freeze the whole way. i can't win here. i just want it to be sunny!!! and for daylight savings time to come because i hate walking in the dark. basically i'm sick of winter and i want it to be spring again. thank god this is only for a quarter.

also i hate ochem. i got an A in chem last semester so from what i've heard you're only good at one or the other. i realize that now because ochem is just a lot of nonsense sketches. i hate sketches. oh well at least i'm not taking calc...yet. okay why did i choose this major again????

on a lighter note, i got to take a nap today which was nice. definitely the highlight of my day until nicole comes over for tv time tonight! yay! i have to go to class in about an hour so i should probably do my homework before then. oh also last night i made cajun catfish for dinner and it was splendid. i'm shaping up to be quite a good cook. faaabulous.

sigma nu is having their pledge active party next weekend which is always legendary so i'm really looking forward to that. honestly it's the only thing getting me through the next week and a half. that and gloria is coming down for it!!! at least i think she is. yayy! it will be silly. i don't know what the theme is yet but i can't wait to make a super outfit. oh i also found out that perez hilton is coming to cal poly on the 24th! how exciting! maybe i will meet him and he will put my picture on his blog. hopefully not with rude drawings on it though. just saying how fabulous my hair is. well, you never know! a girl can dream!

i guess i should write about my weekend seeing as it was actually really fun! originally i was supposed to go home to visit my grandparents but my dad said it would be better if i stayed in slo for my first weekend and met some cal poly people. so i did. i felt guilty but he convinced me that it was the best thing to do. and he was right.

so thursday night i was planning on going to a birthday party for a guy i didn't know. i was going to go with nicole since it was in her apartment complex, but she was tired when she got off work at 10 and i kind of wanted to stay home and watch harry potter. anyway i called my mom and she yelled at me and said i better go to that party or else. so i got all pretty and went! it was scary because i only knew 3 people, the guys that live there, and i had to walk in by myself. but they introduced me to people and one of my girl friends from my first year (allyson) was there so we hung out for most of the night. i got there pretty late so everyone was wasted except for me but i had a couple beers and observed the mayhem. it was amusing and i had fun showing off my new haircut.

friday is when i was planning on going home, so i packed up all my stuff and got on the road. that's when i talked to my parents and they said i didn't have to so i turned around and came back. i can't remember what i did all day. oh, i remember, andy called me that afternoon and he had finished exams that day so he went to the pub at his school (i know, right?) with some of his coursemates. before he knew it it was 11pm and let me tell you salford isn't even safe at 10 in the morning. so he had to walk through the forest of death to get home and it was terrifying for both of us and i was so worried that i just cried for like 2 hours. then he called me when he got home all safe and sound and drunk as a skunk and that was that. then i went out to unagi's (?) for sushi with steve and jaclyn and scott was there for like a minute. daddy bought dinner for everyone to celebrate my first week at cal poly! yay! so after that i went to a 90's party with nicole at the sigma nu house and it was freeeeezing! she drank green jungle juice and i had a cape codder in a water bottle and we watched the boys play beer pong until we were so frozen that we decided to go home. it was fun though haha.

saturday there was a crazy hat party! i went to a vintage store in morro bay and bought a doris day-ish white hat, some white gloves, a black bejeweled clutch from india, and some diamond-esque clip on earrings. fabulous! then i went downtown (dressed in my new finds) and went to beverly's to try and figure out some sort of hat. i was wandering around when i found these huge waterlilies in a basket. i'm not sure what you're supposed to do with them but i think you float them in water or something. anyway i fell in love with a fuschia colored one and so i got that and some pretty pink ribbon and tied it on my head like a bonnet. it was suuuuper cute! that party was fun, i had some beer and met some people and cut in line to get my cup refilled. nicole, randy, soup and i stood outside and talked and stuff while they were waiting for their turn to play beer pong (which never came). randy had a huge mad hatter hat that he wore for halloween and nicole had the youth size one that he bought by mistake. soup had a boring baseball cap. which i stole. anyway it was very silly and we just stood outside and talked the whole night. actually before the boys got there nicole and i went and we kind of just stood inside and watched people dance and made fun of drunk girls. it was fantastic.

sunday i slept till noon which was refreshing and spent the day watching movies and doing homework. at least that's what i remember doing. but i could be wrong. i stayed up too late and was almost late to class the next morning because i was so tired. monday when i got home from school i talked to andy for an hour and it was fabulous. he was being so silly and cute. :)

this week hasn't been so great school-wise, it's harder to get up and stay awake during class, and on monday night the guy behind me was eating an apple during class so you can imagine how that went. ugh. anyway it's wednesday now so i just have my class tonight and tomorrow and then i will be done for the weekend! i'm going home to visit and hopefully plant some flowers and finish painting the bathroom and of course visit my grandparents. i think jenna might have a winterguard competition (the first one besides evals) on saturday so i will probably go to that too. from what i've heard the show is really cool and everyone loves it. it's going to be weird going home since none of my friends will be there and neither will andy. :( if his mom hasn't left for england yet maybe i can see her. actually i think jesska might come home so we can have coffee or something. maybe alex will come too if she's not too busy hating me. yay. it's okay i deserve it i guess, as long as i'm not the only one because that wouldn't quite be fair.

my cousin emily is coming down to look at cal poly on monday! too bad i just started going there so i can't really even show her around unless she just wants to see where my classes are and where the library is. haha. anyway it will be fun to see her, she will be here until wednesday. i'm actually not sure who she's coming with so i don't know where she's staying. maybe she and andrea and i can all have dinner one night.

anyway i really can't wait for next weekend! hopefully school will get better again, in time for my first ochem test next thursday!!!!! eeeek!!!

k time for class bye bye xx

so i just got home from class and i'm happy to write that my professor and i just became BFF. how fabulous! on monday when i was waiting in the hallway for class i saw her and asked her what class she was waiting for just to make sure i was at the right place. then we walk in and she's the teacher. oops. so anyway her name is sarah and she's blonde and fabulous and just had her first baby. she's an environmental consultant and right now that's basically what i want to do. how convenient.

on monday at the end of class we did a small writing assignment about our opinions on the environment and our world perspective and anything else related that we wanted to write about. i threw in a lot of different ideas, but one of the things i mentioned was that "going green" seems to be a bit of a mainstream fad these days. i also wrote that i hope it doesn't die out as quickly as a fad does, and also that it might be a bit of an insult to distinguished environmental scientists to have their goals labeled as a fad, but who cares if it gets people to pay attention? anyway she was talking about that during lecture and she even said, "actually, i think someone wrote about that on monday." and i giggled to myself and said that's meeee! she also quoted me quoting dwyer who quoted that bumper sticker "if you're not outraged, you're not paying attention." excellent.

so after class i stayed to talk to her about the class and about her other job and all that kind of stuff and basically she offered to get me internships or give me advice about interviews or just insight into her job to help me figure out what i want to do with my degree and my life. she's kind of like the sweetest person ever and i want to hang out with her every day. well maybe not but you get the idea.

anyway i'm super excited to get my quarter off to such a fantastic start and i had to write it down!!!!

so tomorrow is the last day of my first week of my first quarter at cal poly. so far it's going swimmingly. i love all my classes and all my teachers. meeting people is kind of difficult, but i'm doing my best. so far i've talked to people in every class, but not much more than that. i love walking to school at 7am even though my calves are DYING. literally it's like band camp times 10000000000. but it's worth it. i actually have to go back to school in about a half hour for my environmental management class. it's by far my favorite. i'm so glad i changed my major! i'm really nervous about ochem (organic chemistry) because people say if you're good at general chem, you will suck at ochem, and vice versa. kind of like algebra and geometry. the bad news is i got an A in general chem. i may have a struggle in front of me. i have my first lab tomorrow afternoon and i don't think i could be more nervous for it. i'm really glad i had lab last semester so i still kind of know what's going on!

intro psychology is my first class of the day at 8am. it's actually not that bad to be awake so early in the morning. (the long walk in the cold weather helps!) my teacher is really enthusiastic and she has kind of a dry sense of humor that i'm not sure everyone in the class understands. my chem teacher is also really cool although she does tend to talk to us like we are 5th graders. on mondays i have a class in careers in environmental management etc. i've only had one class of that so far so i'm not really sure what it will be like, but the teacher seems interesting and the course syllabus sounds rather fun. the teacher, mr thompson, is actually the advisor i went to see when i was registering for classes, although he doesn't seem to remember me. maybe he's trying to forget because he didn't much care for my leopard print peacoat? hmm.

so those are all my classes, so far all off to a good start. i don't have any homework in any of them, just midterms and finals and one final project. it's interesting and different but hopefully i will do well on exams and be fine. the quarter system will be interesting as well seeing as i've been on semesters my whole life. hopefully it will keep things moving at a faster pace and i won't get bored. the class environment is mostly the same as cuesta, which was mostly the same as high school. no big lecture halls or intimidating professors like in the movies.

the main difference is the size of the campus--right now it seems huge! kind of like san francisco airport except more confusing. the day before school started i had a mini-orientation and this guy named jeremy gave me a kinda tour of the campus, mainly just to show me where my classes are. however, by monday i couldn't keep it all straight in my head and even though i had a map and my class schedule, i walked around the entire campus about twice, both times passing the building i was looking for without realizing it. needless to say i felt quite silly and relieved when i finally found the class. except i was too afraid to take off my coat because i was so sweaty and i didn't want to let all my stink out. but now i've got the hang of it, at least for this quarter's classes i think.

i'm also looking into doing a semester abroad in manchester, mostly just to be with andy. we've just celebrated our 4 year anniversary last november, so both our parents are convinced that it would be worth it for me to spend some time over there. the only thing is my last 2 quarters at cal poly have to actually be at cal poly, so i wouldn't graduate until spring 2010. technically, since i'm a transfer student and it's supposed to take 2 more years, that would be right on schedule. actually i guess winter 2010 would be right on schedule. anyway i could supposedly do 2nd semester abroad and come home for summer and go back to school for fall and winter quarters. we'll see what daddy thinks about that.

another thing i might do is join the marching band and colorguard, which i've heard is quite amazing and fun. band camp starts on september 5 so i need to find out if andy will be back in england yet or what. depending if he gets accepted for the masters program, he might not even be going back over there. which is another factor that will help me decide whether or not to go aboad. there's not as much incentive for me to go all the way over there if he's just going to come home! i even thought of doing summer abroad in london, but that's got the same problem. andy is graduating in mid-july this year, but he doesn't even know if he wants to go to the ceremony. of course i want to go, and my family was even thinking about going, and carole wanted to get us all a house in france for a few weeks afterward. that sounds amazing to all of us but i think andy just wants to come home. and i guess i can't really blame him. especially since last semester i went home just about every weekend. i blame it on field season and wanting to see jenna compete, but i probably would have done it anyway.

i dont' know if i'm going home this weekend or not. pop-pop came home from the hospital on monday, and to be honest i don't think anyone really knows how much longer we have with him. it could be weeks or days or who knows. it's really sad and if i think about it much longer i will cry. 

andy comes home on march 15! unfortunately he won't be in america for his 21st birthday, which i think is rather silly. too bad he has to go back to turn in his exams. i think he should just mail them in! i can't believe he's going to be 21. how old. and i will be in august! it's crazy. too bad i won't be while we're in new jersey (if we go). still another year before i can go to the terrace tavern with my parents. but i'm looking forward to going to the bank in downtown saratoga, and the black watch in los gatos, and all those other places in the area that i've always heard my parents talking about. i think i'm the only one of my friends who doesn't want to go crazy in las vegas for their 21st birthday. and i'm sure they're all upset that i don't want to but that's just not my idea of a good time. too dangerous. i'm much happier celebrating in my hometown with my parents and boyfriend's parents and closest friends! i swear i will have been born and died in saratoga, california. that's the life. of course i wouldn't mind some travelling in between, specifically europe. i keep trying to get andy to take me to scotland or paris or rome but he's seen most of those places before. but either way i will see them all on our honeymoon! better late than never. :) anyway i better be off to class now, i'll write more later.

au revoir!